Boombox Saint

Awkwardness abounds in the courtroom today

I spent an excessive amount of time hurrying up and waiting in court today (some days are just like that).  Just before my last case was heard, I sat in on what was easily one of the most painful hearings I have ever sat through —- I hate the financial cases!  They’re all math and yawns.  Anyway, as this case started up, the female attorney of the Plaintiff announces while gesturing to the opposing counsel, two male attorneys, that she wanted this case taken down (by the court reporter) because she wanted it on record that she had been double teamed.  She said it so emphatically too, “I want it to be known that I have been double teamed!!!”  It was awkward.  haha  I looked for my usual suspects in the courtroom, you know, the ones that think shit like that of amusing…and they were all curiously absent.  I tried to move on with what I was doing.

Fast forward about 30 minutes into the same case.  The female defendant is testifying - apparently she used to be a hand model.  Again this was a financial case, so she is talking about her income.  The other party’s counsel is asking her to explain her earnings so she REPEATEDLY made mention of what she was charging for her hand jobs.  She said it so many times, and occasionally was rather demanding, abruptly clarifying for all in the room, “no! I said I charged ____ dollars for a hand job!”  She must have used the phrase “hand job” 15 times in a matter of minutes.  Again, the usual courthouse cut-ups were M.I.A., but that was the least of my concerns at that time.

More pressing concern: determining another name for work product related to hand modeling.  (let me know if you have ideas.)